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I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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