Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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