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have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize
