I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
