So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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