Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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