so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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