We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
