we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
dude. I can hear the air.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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