Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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