who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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