My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
