I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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