actually, I'm a sock model
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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