I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
