I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
