Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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