thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize