If i come over, it means nothing
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
