I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
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I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
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yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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