So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He better not be in your backpack
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
