I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
