There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
