ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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