I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
