He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
