The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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