help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
