IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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