Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
