I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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