my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
