Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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