Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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