u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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