How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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