butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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