oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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