dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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