I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
last night I used snow as a chaser
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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