I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
