You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
