i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
