Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
