Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
