every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
We got so high we made milksteak
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
