Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
