i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize