In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she looked like the before picture.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
