Nicole vs. Life
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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