trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
