I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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