I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize