I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
