so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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