Me. At least after what I've been through.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
