I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
